i'm not done

I'm done

2006-12-12T12:36:00.000+05:30

I'm done with this blog.

Leave me a comment if you want a link to my new blog.

And the original template is somewhere in the depths of my harddrive, so live with this shitty one.

Trapped

2006-09-01T20:02:00.000+05:30

Trapped in a dream,
And you can't even scream
'Cause there's no one, ever here.

Strapped to your seat,
And you can't find your feet,
Will this nightmare, never stop?

This song was written and performed by one of the greatest (if not the greatest) bands ever to come out of India. I was unfortunate to never ever see them live. And now I doubt anyone ever will again.

Trapped in my body,
Trapped in my soul,
Trapped in my body,
And I think I'm getting old.

- Indus Creed

Redesign

2006-08-26T23:48:00.000+05:30

Redesign in progress.

Watch this space!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

2006-08-23T23:09:00.000+05:30

"Tonight, Tonight"

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

And you know you're never sure
But your sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

Jai Bharat! (Calm like a Bomb)

2006-08-15T20:53:00.000+05:30

Jai Bharat!

The last 5 songs on my playlist:
1) Tire Me - Rage Against The Machine (Currently listening to...)
2) Snakecharmer - Rage Against The Machine
3) Kashmakash - Alms for Shanti
4) Khuda Ka Waasta - Pankaj Awasthi
5) Bandeh - Indian Ocean

I feel we need a band in India that's the equivalent of Rage Against The Machine.

A band that will write and sing in Hindi (or other regional languages), and be loud, bold and fucking offensive at the same time. A band that's tight, lyrically superb and rhymically appealing.

A band that will write about the Shiv Sena's violence, the NDA's extreemism, the Left's inefficiency and the Congress's hypocricy. A band that will be fucking angry about the Mumbai blasts and sing about it. A band that will make it all rhyme and rock. A band that will make you open your eyes and your ears.

And no, Pin Drop Violence doesn't count. They have too much fun.

It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?

Lights out, Guerilla Radio
Turn that shit up.

The Charge of the Shite Brigade (a.k.a. Sour Gripes with the kitty CAT)

2006-08-07T03:45:00.000+05:30

It's that time of the year again. Thousands (175 thousand last year) of bright, young, impressionable minds are about to attempt an exam that will decide their jobs, their salaries and their marriage prospects.

They're all (mostly) fools.

Trust me I know. I was a fool twice.

I must first state that this is my rant against a system which has comprehensively let me down, broken me and left me to ruin. So don't give me shit about having sour grapes, because I'm fully entitled to.

If you're a little lost, I'm talking about the CAT exam and all the other "Em Bee Ay" entrance exams that occur before and after.

This is how the system works:
More than 150,000 people attempt various competitive exams to gain admission into the cream (butter, milk, paneer and cheddar cheese) of Indian institutes to pursue a post graduate education in Management. A person's performance in these exams will indicate his mathematical, verbal and reasoning abilities. These (or so the Em Bee Ay institutes tell us) are qualities which all managers must essentially have. Hence the exams serve as an indicator of not only of a student's ability to cope with the standard of education, but also of the student's aptitude and managerial potential.

Once a student has achieved the desired level of performance in these exams, the student is then (usually) called for a group discussion, extempore, personal interview or some such. These are subjective tests judged on various parameters by teachers, alumni and administrators. On clearing these tests, a student is admitted.

Seems like a mighty fine system, yes? Well it's completely rubbish. This is why:

Show me the money!
Wonder of all wonders! It's all about the money! The entire system works on the most basic of economic principles:
When demand increases at a higher rate than supply, prices are bound to rise.

So let's see, what exactly is the Demand and what exactly is the Supply here.
Demand:
An acceptable standard of quality managerial education for over 100,000 students per year.

Supply:
6 IIMs with approximately 200 (open category) seats per IIM: 1,200 seats
The remaining top 25 colleges in India (at approx 400 seats): 10,000 seats
(Going below the top 25 is suicide. It's absolutely pointless.)
Total: 11,200 seats

So at least 89,000 students go home disappointed or take admission into colleges which will add as much value to them as a tube top does to a Polar bear. Hence, all 100,000 students are at the mercy of the remaining 25 institutes to not treat them like shit. Which they will, because they can.

The way they make their most money is through selling application forms. You see, you cannot apply to any of these (top 25) institutes AFTER the results are out. Hence, since it's a percentile based exam and you don't know what score you'll get, you apply here, there and everywhere.

These colleges charge approximately Rs.1,000/- per application. So if you want to apply to 25 institutes (since you don't know whether you'll get a 99th percentile or a 89th percentile) you pay all of Rs.25,000.

I repeat, you spend Rs.25,000 on a POSSIBILITY that you will get a good score. That seems like a huge gamble (calculated as it were).

What's worse is that you get NOTHING for the Rs.1,000 you're spending per college, save for a badly printed college brochure, an envelope and the entry of your name into a list. In fact, NMIMS was so disgusting that they didn't even bother printing application forms, they asked STUDENTS to print out 12 pages worth of application forms themselves and send them in (with an additional Demand Draft for more money in case you qualified for the 2nd round). Doesn't seem like a lot of value for money, no?

Add to this whole frustration, the Coaching Classes.
These are wonderful institutions that are bright enough to capture your money before it goes anywhere else. You can spend anywhere from Rs.5,000 to Rs.25,000 on classes that will sell you a dream that you've almost already bought anyway- a seat in an IIM. They pay no attention to your current abilities, aptitude or potential and brainwash you into thinking that you're capable of that coveted 99th percentile.

Let me tell you, chances are you're not.

There is a reason it's called the 99th percentile. Only 1 percent of the people are in there. 99 percent aren't good enough. Statistically, the odds are that you're in the 99 percent, rather than the 99th percentile.

It's all very rosey when you go meet the 'counsellors' in these Coaching Classes and they tell you what brilliant potential you have and how their course will help you amplify your strengths are eliminate your weaknesses. But the world doesn't work that way. Everybody cannot do everything, and that's a fact. They sell you a dream, which you buy without really analyzing yourself or your own abilities. It's simple wishful thinking.

(Although I don't blame them, they're not philanthropic. They're businesses. They're here to make money. The economics works great for them so why shouldn't they work the system?)

So all in all, you pay:
Rs.25,000+ for college applications
Rs.20,000+ for coaching classes + misc. photocopies, extra tests etc

That's Rs.45,000+ for a CHANCE that you will get a good score.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking "That Nandan bastard has no sense of value, the 45k is worth it once you're in. You can't put a price tag on education and a good future. You'll earn that money back in no time."

Well you're right, you will earn that money back in no time. But that doesn't mean spending it was worthwhile. I wouldn't complain about the money if the rest of the system wasn't so rotten.

Selection or Rejection?
Which brings me to the second gripe I have. The selection system is rubbish. It's so rubbish that it's a rejection system.

150 minutes of Maths, Logic, English and Reasoning are NOT enough to judge anyone. There's too much impetus on that ONE day and that ONE exam. Especially since it happens only ONCE a year. That is the first and ONLY criteria for selection (I mean rejection).

If you do crap on that test, you're henceforth considered as crap. Too bad if you were sick or constipated or sleepy or whatever. The dude next to you who understood Algebra better is considered a much better candidate- even though he may have no aptitude whatsoever for management.

2 years of your life depend on how well you remember your formulae, how fast you can read, how many words you can memorize, etc etc. Your work experience (not in quantity, in quality), your personal views, your goals, your aims, your ideas and your ambition counts for nothing. The inherent social and business abilities that you have are pointless. If you don't clear a written test, you're simply not worthy- even though everything else in your life may be SCREAMING with worthiness.

The system is created to weed out all those below a certain score line because it's so much easier to find the right people. So what if so many of the right people are below the score line. It cuts out the labourous (and seemingly pointless) task of ACTUALLY SELECTING PEOPLE by logical means. Just because it's easier to knock off 89,000 people on the basis of a test, doesn't make it right. And as so many of these institutes will themselves say: "The easiest way, is probably the most wrong".

Opportunity Cost.
Most, if not all, people will quit their jobs, refuse work, take time away, etc etc to study for these exams. Most of these people are fools. They will gain much more in those 6 months of employment (financially and emotionally) than they would sitting at home learning mathematical tables.

They will be stressed. They will be depressed. They will be heartbroken. They will be frustrated.

So, to conclude.
You spend lots and lots of money.
Your money gets you no material benefit. Just a 'chance'.
Your natural abilities other than your quantitative, reasoning and verbal abilities, mean absolutely nothing unless you get the desired score.
You lose out on meaningful work, money and experience.
You send yourself through an emotional roller coaster (mostly downhill)

The predicament of these students reminds me of one of my favourite poems.

The Charge of the Light Brigade
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

2.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

3.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

4.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

5.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred.
---------------------------------------------------------------

It is a Charge of the Light Brigade. I feel sorry for those who will attempt this.
This is my suggestion for those attempting:

If you're working- do not quit. Continue your life as usual.
Have a back-up plan. Even though you may think you're a surefire entrant into IIM-A, have a fucking back-up plan.
Be ready to spend lots of money. Understand all your costs in their entirety from the beginning and then make your decisions.
Don't beat yourself up if you end up with nothing to show for your efforts. It's a bullshit system and it's a risk you took when the odds were against you. Your guilt will serve no purpose.
Attempt it once. If you didn't do well the first time, you probably won't do brilliantly the second. Understand your costs for doing it a second time.
Don't do it. If you really want to, go abroad. If you can't afford that, get a job. It's simply not worth it.

That is all.

'Allo 'Allo!

2006-08-03T18:12:00.000+05:30

"Lizzén kairfully, I shall zay thees only onze"

I am two days away from completing a procurement of

'Allo 'Allo! Season 1

That's right!!! And then I shall proceed to procure Season 2, 3 and 4!!
Wooooooohooooooooooooo!

I need to work out how to get the seasons after 4 though, they're a little harder to come by.

I will also get copies of:
1) Mind Your Language
2) Fawlty Towers

Yayyyy! My collection of the funniest (and by far the coolest) shows ever is finally beginning!

This is what I will want all in all (all seasons too!):

'Allo 'Allo!
Mind Your Language
Fawlty Towers
Monty Python's Flying Circus
The Wonder Years
M*A*S*H
Three's Company
Mad About You
The Simpsons

(And wonder of all wonders, there is NO F*R*I*E*N*D*S on the list, mostly because I believe the show will never go off air anyway!)

I hope I didn't miss anything. Any suggestions?

(PS: Please don't suggest Black Adder, I never liked it)

RTI Filed!

2006-07-19T13:42:00.000+05:30

I filed my first ever Right To Information application yesterday.

It's really quite simple and kudos to the Government for literally paving a way through all the bureaucracy to make this process as painless as possible.

My RTI Application was filed to find out why a blanket block has taken place for Blogspot.com, Typepad.com and Geocities.com.

You can find a step by step guide to filing an RTI application (specifically for this ban) here:
http://censorship.wikia.com/wiki/Blogs_and_RTI_Act

I filed my application at the Azad Nagar Post Office in Andheri (W). The only difficulty I had was explaining to the people behind the counter what RTI was. You see, certain Post Offices are designated as APIO (Assistant Public Information Officers), and the Superintendent in each of these offices is well aware of this. However, the common staff may not be.

So if you're going to one of these designated post offices, and the staff is more puzzled than a Polar Bear during Holi, ask to speak to someone in the Superintendent's office.

Once I went to that office, it was a breeze. They're super helpful the moment you mention RTI.

I had to run up and down a bit to locate the postmaster (who was supposed to accept my payment and give me my receipt), but once I had the receipt, I just had to make a copy, and give them the letter.

I had an argument with a friend last night. He felt that although an RTI application should be filed, it's not enough in this case. We need to file some sort of a writ petition or maybe even a PIL. Make it a legal case.

I disagreed. From my *limited* RTI experience so far, I think the fact that this is a highway straight through babudom, it'll work more effectively than our judiciary (which, apart from the Supreme Court and a few High Courts doesn't exactly have the best reputation). Because now the babus can't really hide behind a stack of papers or an ignorant secretary. I ask, and they must answer. And if their answer isn't satisfactory, I can ask again. And again. I can keep creating RTI applications until my printer runs out of ink, and they will have to answer all of them.

My RTI application was to Shri B.B.Bahl. He's in the Dept. of Information Technology. If it hadn't been for RTI, I don't think I would ever have gotten a chance to ask him questions (unless of course I had a resourceful uncle in Dilli- which unfortunately I don't).

I think the ban will cease to exist within the week, it's a mistake in all probability and will be corrected. But the fact is, once my RTI application reaches Shri B.B.Bahl, he'll know that the next time he issues such a directive, he'll ensure nobody, nowhere messes up. Because if they do, he's the one who's going to have to answer those hundreds of RTI applications.

I just hope I get my response soon (within 35 days for sure though). Because then I'd know who to hold accountable and how they messed up.

File an RTI Application today. It's good Karma! :P

Update: People with Good Karma!

If you've filed an RTI Application and blogged about it, leave me a comment, will include you in the list.

Blogger has been blocked in India.

2006-07-17T13:09:00.000+05:30

I have been unable to read any blog on blogspot.com or on typepad.com for the last few days.

It seems that the Ministry of Communications & Information Technology, Government of India has blocked these sites. This allegation is based on the information given by people on the Reliance, MTNL and Spectramind helplines.

For more in-depth coverage, read this:

Mridula's Blog

If true, this is highly undemocratic. We are not in China or Pakistan. We are in India. We will be ruled by the laws of democracy.

I may have a solution. Encourage as many people as possible to apply under the Right to Information Act 2005 to ascertain the true reasons behind this block.

--------------------------------------

The process is simple.

Step 1:
Take a piece of paper, address it to the concerned Public Information Officer (PIO). In this case, I believe it is the PIO, Department of Information Technology, Ministry of Communications.
His address is:

Shri B.B.Bahl,
Joint Director and PIO (RTI)
Office of PIO (RTI)
Room No 1016
Electronics Niketan
Department of Information Technology (DIT)
Ministry of Communications and Information Technology
6, CGO Complex, New Delhi

Tel: 011-24301116
Fax: 011-24363099
Email: pio.dit_hq@mit.gov.in

Step 2:
Draft a simple letter, for example, with the subject reading like this:

SUB: Request to Information Regarding the Blocking of Internet domains: blogspot.com, typepad.com and geocities.com

and a body asking the following (feel free to add anything more):

I would like to use the Right To Information Act to ascertain the following:
Has there been a directive issued by the Ministry of Communications & Information Technology to block the domains http://www.blogspot.com, http://www.typepad.com and http://www.geocities.com?
If so, why has this block come into force?
Why have these particular domain names been specifically blocked?
When will this block cease to exist?
If no such directive has been issued, why are these websites being blocked?
Who is responsible for ensuring that Indian citizens have the freedom to access these websites?
What form of redressal does an Indian citizen have to ensure that these websites are no longer blocked?

---- NOTE ----
Under the Right to Information Act, 2005
YOU ARE NOT COMPELLED TO GIVE A REASON FOR YOUR REQUEST
You simply ask the questions and they must answer within 30 days

Step 3:
Include your name and your full postal address at the end of the letter. This is extremely vital so that the PIO can respond to your request. The information will be sent to you via post.

Step 4:
Go to your nearest post office. A list of post offices accepting RTI applications is given here:

http://www.indiapost.gov.in/rtimanual16a.html

Step 5:
Submit your application and pay Rs.10 at one of the eligible Post Offices and ensure that you get your receipt. This is once again vital as proof of your application. Make copies of your application for your future reference.

Step 6:
Come home, and wait for the response. Allow 5 days for the Post Office to deliver the application to the PIO concerned, and 30 days after that for the PIO to respond to you. So in a total of 35 days, the PIO MUST RESPOND.

--------------------------------------

This isn't very difficult, time consuming or expensive. And it will ensure our rights as citizens are maintained.

Leave a comment if you have any questions. I'm filing the RTI Application myself tomorrow morning. Please inform everyone concerned about this procedure. The Government cannot block a website for no reason, and certainly not one which we use to express ourselves.

If you have friends (like me) who are unable to access this page on blogspot, they can use the link below:

http://nandanbabla.googlepages.com/blogsandrti

Also, in the meanwhile if you'd like to view all the sites that have been blocked, you can use NinjaProxy:

http://www.ninjaproxy.com

Power to the people \m/

UPDATE: You can download a draft letter yourself, print it, and follow the instructions above to send it.

To download the draft letter, click here.

Tuesday's Terror

2006-07-13T08:30:00.000+05:30

Tuesday saw the worst attack I have been consciously exposed to in my lifetime. And it hurt. And it was scary. And depressing.

I went through Santacruz, Khar, Mahim and Matunga between 5:00 and 5:30. It's so scary. I've travelled by those trains more times than I can count. I've spent countless hours at every station that had a blast, I know all of them inside out (except Mira Road).

My mom used to take the First-Class Ladies compartment on a Borivali fast. She would leave office and catch a train around 6:00 pm. She wasn't there on Tuesday.

My friends swear by those trains. I could've been in office (viz. between Mahim and Matunga) yesterday, and I could've taken the train home from Matunga Road.

And yet, the day after, it was back to the grind. Over 190 people dead, over 700 injured. And nobody even winced.

The "Spirit of Mumbai" is much talked about. It's completely and entirely true. People helped each other out wherever they could. The blast site saw people come together irrespective of religion, caste, creed or class and do whatever they could. That is brilliant. The designs of these offenders fail when they see people come together, rather than become divided.

The morning after the blasts, the trains were full again. The *same* trains going through the *same* stations were full again. Schools, Colleges, Offices were open. The stock market even had it's biggest gain in weeks.

The resilient spirit of Mumbai is there for all to see. But that doesn't make it entirely right.

I got irritated at the constant media shouts of "The Spirit of Mumbai" and I didn't know why. Then I realised. To quote the smartest person I know (who also happens to be extremely attractive and extremely unavailable):

"I agree totally the resilience, I agree people help, a lot. I have seen it myself. So in that sense, we are lucky, we have support of the Mumbai junta. I love the city, it makes me feel safe at some level, I know I will be fine.

But, where is the anger? where is the sense of shock? where is the agitation?
isn't that required too? I don't know if I am right."

You are right. Where is the agitation. I want to see Mumbaikars get out and say "Fuck You". The people, the Government, everyone. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. And this deserves that reaction.

My sentiments (although I don't *entirely* agree) are much better communicated through this column on Rediff:

Enough is Enough! by Saisuresh Sivaswamy

--------------------------------------------------

I also have a theory. I was much agitated by media coverage of the perpetrators of these blasts.

According to popular belief, these blasts were carried out by members of the Student's Islamic Movement of India (SIMI) and Lashkar e-Toiba (LeT).

I always wondered how these people are motivated. They are not fighting for a country. They wear no uniform. They are citizens of the world. Their full time occupation is probably something normal, even mundane. What huge psychological factor motivates these people. They do not come out into the open and they make no demands.

Hijackers of planes, kidnappers etc. of the past have made demands. They say "We want X,Y,Z and in return nobody gets hurt". These were people who were just like those that carried out the blasts on Tuesday. But they were humane. And they played on the humanity in all of us. They were ruthless, yes. But they were first and foremost humane. If all their demands were met, nobody got hurt. They got what they wanted and nobody got hurt.

Tueday's activities were inhumane. Nobody made demands. Nobody got any sort of obvious leverage from it. Nothing, other than the killing of scores of innocents (across religion, caste and creed), was achieved.

So what did they get? I think, more than anything else, they feed off the media frenzy. Their 'cause' is given a sense of romance by the way it's being covered. These are people who are completely deluded. Their sense of right or wrong is entirely shifted from that of you or I. They wanted to spread terror and panic. And even though Mumbai bounced back to normalcy almost instantly, the media coverage made them feel successful.

If you watch Formula 1, you'll notice something. Everytime a streaker or protestor gets on to the track, the TV crew do not give him any airtime. The commentators do not mention what banner he's holding up or what he's yelling out. It is merely mentioned that a 'madman' (or even an 'idiot') has invaded the track and he shall be removed shortly. They completely ignore him. Why? They reason that if these people don't get the media attention they crave for, if they're ignored when they do it, then they will stop doing it. I completely agree.

Although you can't apply the same theory to this case, I think it should be applied in some spirit. Obviously, it is of HUGE public interest, and it should be covered entirely. But my theory is simple:

Take the romance out of it.

The members of LeT are called 'terrorists'. If you notice, my entire post so far has refrained from calling them that. The word has such a strong connotation. By just calling them a 'terrorist' you're giving them a sense of fulfillment. Their sole aim is to spread terror, and calling them a 'terrorist' gives them half a victory. We need to stop referring to these people as terrorists.

The coverage of the members of SIMI has been even worse. They're being called SIMI 'Activists'.

ACTIVISTS?

An 'Activist' is such a positive, powerful term. It is used for someone who fights for a cause that is just and correct. Calling a member of SIMI and 'activist' is more than losing half the battle, it's almost endorsing their cause!

My theory is that they should not be called 'terrorists', and certainly not 'activists'. Their whole existence is based on a deep psychological belief in their activities. Fight them on that level.

It is virtually impossible to detect any of these people. They wear no uniform, they bear no signs. They are weaved into the very fabric of society. You cannot attack someone you cannot see. But, via media, you can attack their thought.

Mock them. Insult them. Give them neither importance nor leverage.

Newsreports should have read like this:
"Tuesday saw an attempt by the members of a deluded organization to break the peace and civility that makes the very fabric of our society. This was merely a pathetic route taken by cowards who have no courage to stand up and speak out for what they believe in.

Mumbai will not be terrorised by their activities. We stand together in the face of such cowardly attempts to divide our society. They have not succeeded in breaking our spirit and they never will. Their existence is futile and they will remain pathetic cowards of the highest order until the end of their days. Mumbai is divided yes. Between civil society and a group of deluded persons who don't have the guts to face the world. They remain hidden in our society physically, but mentally, the reslience and courage of the Mumbaikar seperates us from them.

We will not stand down and be affected. We will not be terrorised."

I believe it would work. It may be media or political suicide by whoever says something like that- but I believe it would work.

So to all the SIMI, LeT and other supposed 'terrorist' losers. Speak up and speak out you cowardly bastards. You're nothing but pathetic losers.

Scare me once, shame on you. Scare me twice, shame on me.

Fuck you. Bring it fucking on.

Note: Since posting, SIMI has categorically denied any role in Tuesday's blast. They have also gone so far as "condemning" this act. I truly, honestly believe that they had some role to play. But, in the great country of India, you are innocent until proven guilty. I will however not edit my post. I stand by my allegation.

Enough

2006-07-12T09:57:00.000+05:30

How much is enough?

How much?

I see red

2006-07-10T23:07:00.000+05:30

The day the magic died.

*

2006-07-09T17:43:00.000+05:30

Yayyyyyyyyy!!!!

Asterix & the Vikings

Opening Friday, 14th July

Achy Breaky Heart

2006-07-07T12:36:00.000+05:30

Top-5 Heartbreak Songs:
(As suffered through by me, in chronological order)

Motorcycle Drive By - Third Eye Blind
This was my very first heartbreak. In the 9th standard.
The song isn't very angry It's more about peacefully letting go, while remembering the good times.
---------------------------
Summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower Chelsea
And I don't know what I'm doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I'm sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That's when I knew
That I could never have you
I knew that before you did
Still I'm the one whose stupid
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've
Never been so alive
This is a view on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don't mind
And you smile
And say the world it doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you
You're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt
You're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you

And there's things I'd like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you'll never see it happen
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've
I've never been so alive

And there's this burning
There is this burning
(yeaa)

Where's the soul I want to know
New York City is evil
The surface is everything
But I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is the last time
We'll be friends again
And I'll get over you
And you'll wonder who I am
And there's this burning,
Just like there's always been
I've never been so alone, alone
And I've, and I've
I've never been so alive

So alive

I go home to the coast it starts to rain I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt and taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming
To take me
Home

And I never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
---------------------------
Somewhat Damaged - Nine Inch Nails
This was the big one. The heartbreak that put me off women for months. Total and absolute fucking with your mind. And the song that helped me get through it was just as ridiculously fucked up. It's rage like I've never felt before. Ever.
---------------------------
So impressed with all you do.
Tried so hard to be like you.
Flew too high and burnt the wing.
Lost my faith in everything.

Lick around divine debris.
Taste the wealth of hate in me.
Shedding skin, succumb defeat.
This machine is obsolete.

Made the choice to go away.
Drink the fountain of decay.
Tear a hole exquisite red.
Fuck the rest and stab it dead!

Broken. Bruised. Forgotten. Sore.
Too fucked up to care anymore.
Poisoned to my rotten core.
Too fucked up to care anymore.
Broken. Bruised. Forgotten. Sore.
Too fucked up to care anymore.
Poisoned to my rotten core.
Too fucked up to care anymore.

In the back. Off the side. Far away.
Is a place. Where I hide. Where I stay.
Tried to say. Tried to ask. I needed to.
All alone. By myself. Where were you?

How could I. Ever think. It's funny how.
Everything that swore it wouldn't change, is different now.
Just like you. Would always say. We'll make it through.
Then my head. Fell apart. And where were you?

How could I. Ever think. It's funny how.
Everything you swore would never change, is different now.
Like you said. You and me. Make it through.
Didn't quite. Fell apart. Where the fuck were you?
---------------------------
Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
Ok, so this is an obvious choice. But if you ever feel like killing yourself, this is what you need to listen to. The hearbreak wasn't that bad. But it was the first time I'd actually listened to this song.
---------------------------
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone.
---------------------------
With or Without You - U2
This was the 'I give up, I have no hope' heartbreak. It was a complete and utter mess. And the beautiful part is, although the other songs helped me get through some really tough times, somehow With or Without You is still the only one that rings true today.
---------------------------
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side.
I wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you.

Through the storm, we reach the shore
You gave it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you.
I can't live with or without you.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

My hands are tied, my body bruised
She got me with nothing to win
And nothing left to lose.

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give, and you give
And you give yourself away.

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you. (x2)
---------------------------
The Scientist - Coldplay
I haven't had to suffer any major heartbreak since With or Without You. But if I were, I'd listen to The Scientist by Coldplay. It's just being resigned to my fate. I'm too old to be filled with rage.
---------------------------
Come up to meet you, tell her I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And, Ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

So Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh, and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start...
---------------------------

That is all. Notice how all these songs have magnificient endings. I think that's how you can really tell if a song was well-written. If it evokes a feeling in you throughout the song, and the last 2-3 lines seem to capture everything the song is about.

Music makes me, me.

Confused

2006-07-05T19:08:00.000+05:30

Go Zizou!

Go Figo!

Go Zizou!

Go Figo!

Damn it, I love them both.

Updated

2006-07-01T13:52:00.000+05:30

The much awaited and highly aclaimed (4 people liked it!) A Journey to the Center of the Hurt has been updated. Chapter 2 is now online.

You can read it here: http://centerofhurt.blogspot.com

Harsh, severe and insulting criticism welcome.

----------------------------------------------

Oh, and an idea just came to me. I would like to make this a collaborative writing effort. I don't know if anyone cares, but I'm inviting you to take this forward. You can add your own 'story' (Aniridh is mine, pick another name, like 'Shilpa's Story' maybe) to "A Journey to the Center of the Hurt" and we can see how we take it forward from there.

Oh and I'm not going be an editor, write whatever the fuck you want, as long as the theme is the same (tales of self-discovery, self-despair and self-destruction). You could make it autobiographical, fictional or whatever. Just ensure that you spell/grammar check it, otherwise I will fart in your face. Draw from your own experiences and write what you like.

If anyone is interested, it's an open invite. Just leave me a comment.

Haha

2006-06-30T19:35:00.000+05:30

Everyone will suffer now

Roobish

2006-06-28T04:56:00.000+05:30

My last few posts were absolutely, postitively rubbish. Uninspired, unimaginative, undone.

Nonedone, undone. Hah. That's clever though....

Although I think Laila came up with that first.

Bah, need inspiration.

Por-Ned

2006-06-26T04:34:00.000+05:30

Fun game this.

So many cards, so few players.

Forca Porto!

~

2006-06-25T18:16:00.000+05:30

People always told me the world was unfair.

I thought I'd realised this a long time ago. At 16 actually, when I saw Hanson sing "Mmmmbop" and make lots of money.

I thought to myself "They're 16, and they're fucking loaded- I'm 16 and I can't afford to buy a Playstation. That's unfair".

Now that wasn't really unfair.

Life is much more unfair now. For no fault of my own.

fuck

2006-06-21T14:48:00.000+05:30

trent fucking reznor knows

Speed Demon

2006-06-08T19:47:00.000+05:30

He has long hair.

He writes poetry.

He flies Sukhoi-30 MKIs.

He can build a bomb.

Who is this rockstar?

(Oh and did I mention he's the supreme commander of the armed forces of the largest democracy in the world?)

Sexcellent!

2006-06-05T09:54:00.000+05:30

From today's Mumbai Mirror's "ask the sexpert" column:

Q. Recently, when my girlfriend and I indulged in foreplay, I ejaculated inside my pants but a drop of semen fell on her pants. Can she be pregnant?
A. It would be virtually impossible even for an agile sperm to overcome such formidable barriers!

You've GOT to love poetic sexpert advisors! Sexcellent!

My bit

2006-05-29T05:06:00.000+05:30

Ok,

I honestly haven't done anything about the anti-reservation drive, except occasionally bitch and moan to ears who already have my sympathies.

So I'm using my web designing powers for good.

I made that band on the top left of this blog. It's my formal protest.

And don't give me shit for not taking more of an effort, CSS is a bitch, and I worked hard to get that working well (hopefully).

If you'd like it on YOUR blog, BE MY SLAVE, or visit the following webpage:

http://nandanbabla.googlepages.com/intruct

Take the effort!

PS: If you have browser/compatibility issues, leave me a comment, I'll fix it immedietly.

Deviations

2006-05-26T02:30:00.000+05:30

I'm a devious little fellow now.

http://nandanbabla.deviantart.com

It amazes me that I never discovered/used this before.

NOTE: Only my art/photography will be there. Weblogs will continue here.